Just a little Patience

From Rod Stewart to Guns and Roses... earworms for everyone! hee sorry- syb After gentle nudging *g* Lisa Valdez has been kind enough to answer my question... where the heck is patience and what is taking so long! From Lisa... Hi Everyone, Sybil was kind enough to invite me to her blog so that I could have the opportunity to explain what the heck my problem has been with completing PATIENCE. Thank you, Syb, for this opportunity. So, here’s the deal: This past year has been really challenging for me. Besides some very heavy intrusions by life, the biggest problem I had with writing PATIENCE was that I was writing it while dealing with the unexpectedly strong response to PASSION. As many of you may know, readers were very vocal about PASSION and they basically fell into two camps—those who adored it and those who despised it. There was very little in-between. And while many of the discussion boards were taken up with long threads about PASSION, my email was also overflowing. Most of the email was wonderful, and some of you made me cry (((hugs))), but there was also “hate mail,” which I could never identify until I’d started reading—and like the compulsion I often feel to watch a bad movie till the end, I had to read those emails to the end. I know, so stupid! Anyway, the force of these two opposing opinions came down on me together and, suddenly, writing got really difficult. All at once, I felt a HUGE responsibility to all of you who had loved and adored PASSION. While I was so grateful that PASSION had fallen into your hands, I began to worry that you wouldn’t like Patience and Matthew’s story. I mean, they are very different characters from Passion and Mark, and the sensual angle is different as well. Perhaps, thought I, you just want another PASSION. And while I was tormenting myself with these thoughts, I did a completely ludicrous thing. I allowed the voices of my detractors to influence me as well. Lord, I kept thinking: if they hated PASSION, they’re going to stone me in the streets for PATIENCE. I started holding the characters back—I wouldn’t let them do what they wanted to do, or even think what they wanted to think. And when I did give them some leeway, I did so only with the greatest trepidation. But I don’t want to give the impression that I am this over-sensitive, delicate type, with fragile confidence and flimsy sensibilities. I assure you, that’s not me. It went more like this: I wake up excited to write this scene in which Matthew gives Patience this intense spanking that breaks down all her emotional barriers. But, as is my habit, I check my email before I begin to write. Well, there in my inbox is an email from a very angry reader. She calls me a misogynist and rants that I have no business writing romance for women as I so obviously hate women. She goes on to say that Mark is an “abusive rapist,” (I didn’t know there was any other kind) and that Matthew is equally as bad as he “beats” his mother. She ends her email by calling me a “disgrace to modern women.” –Okay, so suffice it to say, I did not write the spanking scene that day. Nor did I write it for many days after. Then, after more garbage came my way, I opted not to write it at all—even though it was a major turning point in the story. And that’s how it went. Well, you absolutely CANNOT write a book while afraid of it (especially a book like PATIENCE). You cannot! The manuscript was tepid, and half-hearted. And because I had left things out that I had suddenly feared readers would find too intense, Patience couldn’t even really arc as a character. I had completely robbed her of what she needed. And poor Matthew—I had cut him off at the knees as well. Anyway, slowly but surely, I began to face the fact that I had completely lost my way. There were many months of denial before I was able to finally face the truth—that I’d allowed some very sad, unfortunate people to crush me. This was a rather disturbing and painful realization. I mean, how could I have let that happen? But I also got angry about it and, finally, I had this “what-the-heck?/what-is-your-problem?” moment. And in that moment (or two), I got so fed up with myself and the whole situation that I knew I was done. And within a week or two, I felt like myself again—thank you, Jesus! So, having said all this, I apologize to all of you who loved PASSION and were generous enough to take time out of your busy lives to tell me so. I ought to have given you more of my trust. I ought to have trusted, as I did with PASSION, that if I loved these characters enough then many of you would too. And most of all, I ought not to have dishonored all of you, and myself, by allowing people who hate what I do to influence what I do. So, there you have it—the cliff notes to a very long and surprisingly intense personal struggle. I hope you’ll all hang in there for Matthew and Patience’s romance. I know I’ve tried your patience at this point, but I also know that the book coming out in May is far more passionate and honest than the one you would have purchased earlier. Thanks so much for listening. And thank you, Syb, for offering me the welcoming forum of your blog. Ciao, Lisa —Oh, and the spanking scenes are back! Yeah, there are more than one…