You Down with OPP?

Now this is sort of a funny topic for me since I can think of about three books I have read and liked that have infidelity in them. But I like talking about sex... so lets have at it shall we? first we must do the tara: [bought to us by Merriam-Webster Online], the number 7 and the letter F Main Entry: infidelity Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural -ties 1 : lack of belief in a religion 2 a : unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : DISLOYALTY b : marital unfaithfulness or an instance of it hmmmm speaks only to marital unfaithfulness how about: Main Entry: unfaithful Function: adjective : not faithful: a : not adhering to vows, allegiance, or duty : DISLOYAL b : not faithful to marriage vows c : INACCURATE, UNTRUSTWORTHY again marriage vows sooooo lets try: Main Entry: cheat Function: verb intransitive senses 1 a : to practice fraud or trickery b : to violate rules dishonestly (as at cards or on an examination) 2 : to be sexually unfaithful -- usually used with on That works, sort of... but sexually unfaithful to...? Personally I define it as sexually unfaithful to a committed relationship. How do you think of it? [We aren't even gonna go into open marriages and such... that would confuse the point here so lets say two people committed... we can get into Big Love some other time] The ever wonderful karens linked to a rant by anne "What's with all the Cheating heroes" Go check it out if you haven't. It talks about all the cheating heroes in books today, which sort of surprised me. I am not sure if I just avoid them because I don't like them, so I haven't noticed. Are there that many cheating heroes in romanceland today? examples.... The really surprising thing was one comment said I can only guess that it's because it's new ground I would have assumed it was more old school than new. When I think of cheating heroes I think of Susan Johnson, The Marriage Bed and The Duchess Next Husband. Then I go blank. Do you have any keepers that are older romance with a theme of infidelity? How about newer ones? IS it a growing trend? And if so why? Is it that love concurs all thing? Or do you see the word infidelity, throw the book and move on? And am I the only one who uses the hero and heroine having sex as the mark of when OOP becomes a no no? In the perfect world, I think, the hero and the heroine would never evah fuck another. But real life as well as romance land are rarely perfect, so if one of the characters are knocking boots before they put their boots under the bed of their one true love, I can read the book. Will I like the book? Depends on the writer.... Anne goes on to talk about Lover Eternal. As she hasn't read the book herself, she sites jaynier's review. You should check it out, if for no other reason than to see her blog template. jayniersez: I don't care what your reasons are asshole. The hero doesn't cheat on the heroine. It was freaken horrible. I wanted her to just leave him right then. I nearly threw the book against the wall. Now I haven't posted my review yet for this because I wasn't sure if it would go here or AAR but the whole rhage passing around his cock thing bothered me. A lot, a lot, a lot... but for different reasons than jaynier or anne. Rhage quote: "I hate the anonymity of it. I hate the way my chest aches afterward. I hate the smells on my body and in my hair when I go home. But most of all, I hate the fact that I'm going to have to do it again because if I don't, I could end up hurting one of you guys or some innocent bystander." He exhaled through his mouth. "And those two sisters you're so impressed with? See, here's the thing. I only pick the ones who don't give a shit who they're with, because otherwise it's not fair. Those two bar chippies checked out my watch and my roll and figured I was a pimp trophy. The fucking was about as intimate as a car accident. And tonight? You're going home to Wellsie. I'm going home alone. Just like I did yesterday. Just like I'm going to do the day after. The whoring isn't fun for me, and it's been killing me for years, so please give it a rest, dig?" That was why I hated it because I didn't see it as him cheating on Mary. I saw him as a dumbass for not explaining the beast to her, for not taking a chance sooner if she so decided to try. But not for the fucking around. Anne also said If people who have read the book are thinking he's cheating, then there was something implied that they were a couple, i.e., in a relationship, and had scommitment committment going on. So.... implied or outright stated, cheating is cheating... and should NOT touch the pages of a romance book, no matter what the circumstances are. Absolutely NEVER.. implied... that seems way subjective a reader could think way off the wall things and romance readers can see green in things that are black Should they be able to decide what is fact because they decide that is what they read? Hell look at Taming of the Duke by Eloisa James or Lord Ruin by Caroline Jewel, two books that people see different things in (one being that the hero cheats where the other side of the fence says he doesn't) I don't see it that way. To me, writing is subjective. The author has an idea. His/her view point would be the closest to the 'correct'. Now if he/she does her job well, the readers should walk away with the same idea. But even if the writer is perfect and clear, if a reader decides black is really white, black is still black. It is made pretty clear Rhage and Mary decide not to have a sexual relationship, of course in a romanceland yes they will fuck at some point way. So even if two adults make the choice to not have sex and not date but are the h/h of a romance novel [so will end up HEA] does that make a commitment and make fucking around an act of infidelity? I know tara likes a really bad bad boy and doesn't mind the cheating (I think it was tara) anyone else? Hit me with some rec's. I can't say I will read them but I would like to check a few out.